New memories together: completed dares

Hi couples!

We love to create memories with the person we love. All types of memories, romantic and wild memories. We also love to look back at those memories, smile and think…‘aha..we did that…’ or depending what was it, something more like ‘OMG we did that, crazy’. So that’s why we created the timeline of completed dares! You can also add a picture to them.

So now you can scroll down the main screen, smile and think…‘aha..we did that…’ or ‘OMG we did that, crazy’.

We also added new features, like the ‘new’ community dares badge, so now you can see the new dares that the authors you follow in the community have. You can also decide what type of notifications you want to receive.

All these features are available already on the Android version, however we are still working on the iOS version, we’ll keep you posted. We hope you like these features! Let us know your thoughts below.
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire and update to the latest version here

New memories together: completed dares

FIRESIDE CHAT WITH SHULA MELAMED

(Este artículo está escrito en inglés)

Hello couples,

Here it comes the fireside chat we had with Shula Melamed, Relationships and Wellness Coach, about creating possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy in long term relationships. We love what she says: Relationships are play!

Shula Melamed has dedicated the better part of the last decade studying human behavior, coaching individuals, couples and facilitating groups. Her approach is informed by theories of psychology, sociology and anthropology. You can find more about her work here.

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With Shula we talked about:

How can we create possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy
in long term relationships?
What are the differences between new relationships and
long term relationships when it comes to creating possibilities?
Can we create the same situations that when we were in a new relationship?

How can we create possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy in long term relationships?

Shula: The first thing we have to do is to try to acknowledge these facts. Probably you have heard that ‘relationships are work’ but maybe we should also add that ‘relationships are play’. Some of the work you have to do is actually play. Of course, there is work you need to do around communication, around understanding each other’s goals, being sensitive to each other’s needs, but you also need to focus on playfulness and fun should be a priority. A lot of time people in long term relationships can take this for granted. We should ask ourselves ‘Am I having enough fun with my partner?’ ‘Am I doing everything I can to make the relationship exciting?’ ‘Am I being an interesting partner or am I sitting back?’ ‘Is there something I’d like to know about my partner, how about starting a conversation?’.

Some people do date nights – creating a special night to do something that just involves the two of them -, while some people is very reluctant to that idea, ‘why do I have to do that?’. Well, life is busy and our schedules get away from us, so we need to make time for fun as well. So first thing is acknowledging that it’s not going to happen by itself. Telling your partner that you love him/her in the middle of the day or bringing lunch to the office, are things that create great little experiences of appreciation and bonding to the relationship, it’s a small investment in your relationship and contributes to the overall health of your relationship.

What are the differences between new relationships and long term relationships when it comes to creating possibilities?

Shula: When you first start getting to know somebody in the begginning of the relationship, everything is new, there is so much to explore and discover, it’s your first time for a lot of things. The first time we go to a restaurant together, the first time we do my favourite activity together, the first time we share experiences for the first time, even with the small things. At the beginning of the relationship there is built in curiosity.

In long term relationships, you feel more comfortable emotionally, physically and psychologically, you have someone there to help support your goals and support your emotional growth. When you are in that situation, a certain amount of routine or predictability is comforting. Esther Perel talks about stability and the myth of spontaneity. When you are in a long term relationship you feel safe, it’s fun and it lets you do what you have to do, but to keep it passionate, to keep the relationship moving forward you need to know how to create new possibilities, spontaneity, new possibilities, new adventures, new experiences together.

When you are in a new relationship everything is new, everything is going to be exciting, but when you are in a long term relationship you don’t want everything to be exciting 24h a day because you need to get work done and life needs to progress however you need to find a way to build in novel and exciting activities together.

Can we create the same situations that when we were in a new relationship?

Shula: We don’t have to try to recreate the same situations that at the beginning of the relationship, it’s impossible, you can never go back, you can never be in the same position as you were at the beginning of the relationship, you know too much, you know a lot about the other. Also, you probably don’t like the same things that you used to like. But you can create the same feeling of having a new experience doing something different, and doing it walking side by side and knowing that you can be excited in the same way. But again the first thing, is to acknowledge that relationships take work and they also take play.

Thanks Shula!!

What are your thought about creating possibilities in long term relationships?
Leave them below!

Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

FIRESIDE CHAT WITH SHULA MELAMED

NEW eLOVES AND NEW BADGES

Hi couples!

We have been working on some new things to create a better Desire game for you. Here are some of these new things:

Now can see the past eLoves you have sent to your partner and the ones that your partner sent to you. If you shake your phone, you’ll see them under your #name and #yourpartner tag. You can also now see how many times you have sent each one. Some of you were asking about having an historic of the eLoves, well this is sort of an historic, plus you can re-send them!

We added new badges! Also, you have probably noticed (if you have the latest version of Android) that something new has pop-up below your avatar and your partner’s avatar. These are the badges that you and your partner have. If you click there, it will take you to the badges screen where you can see the ones you have, the ones your partner has and the ones that you still don’t have. The image of the badge is a clue for you to figure out how you can get it. Enjoy daring your partner while you get more badges!

We also added some changes, now when you ‘cancel’ a dare after being ‘accepted’, you don’t lose all points associated to it, you’ll lose 5 points. The same if your partner cancels a dare after being accepted, your partner will lose 5 points. We want you to get points, not to lose them 😉

We hope you like these features! Let us know your thoughts below.
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire and update to the latest version here

NEW eLOVES AND NEW BADGES

FIRESIDE CHAT CON SERGIO FOSELA

(This post is written in Spanish)

Hola parejas,

Os traemos un tema interesante, la energía sexual y la terapia sexitiva. Para ello hemos contactado con el creador de esta terapia Sergio Fosela. Lleva 20 años trabajando con distintas terapias de masaje, hasta que hace seis años decidió crear la terapia sexitiva.

El cuenta que ‘tras muchos años de estudio y vivir el tantra y el taoísmo sexual, cogí la parte más física, más terrenal, la parte de energía sexual que puedes trabajar y quité la filosofía de vida, la espiritualidad, haciéndolo todo más directo. Luego lo junté con temas de medicina china, reiki y reflexología genital y entonces desarrollé la técnica.

Puedes ver sus talleres y eventos en su página web. Además esta semana saca su primer libro: La Terapia Sexitiva, así que si tras leer este post quieres saber más, ¡ya sabes!

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Con Sergio hablamos de:

¿Qué es la energía sexual?
¿En qué consiste la terapia sexitiva?
¿En pareja o individual?
¿Se trata de un masaje?

¿Qué es la energía sexual?

Sergio: La energía sexual es una energía creativa y creadora. El cuerpo humano tiene distintos tipos de energías – quien crea en la energía, porque hay quien no cree en las energías. La sexual es una de las energías que tenemos y es la única energía que es infinita porque se genera a través del movimiento de la energía vital.

La energía vital es la energía del día a día, la que utilizamos cada día y que se regenera mediante el descanso, la comida, la bebida y el aire que respiramos. A través de todos los nutrientes que recibimos de la comida, del aire y del descanso, el cuerpo genera energía, que es la que llamamos energía vital que a lo largo del día la vamos agotando. Por eso necesitamos dormir otra vez, comer otra vez, etc. Esta es la energía vital que circula por el cuerpo y es la que por ejemplo trabaja la acupuntura o el reiki.

El movimiento de la energía vital genera a su paso por los genitales, energía sexual, del mismo modo que el agua genera electricidad al paso por las turbinas de una central eléctrica. Pues es lo mismo, la energía vital a su paso por los genitales genera energía sexual, por eso es infinita porque mientras estemos vivos y tengamos energía vital circulando, se genera energía sexual. Otra cosa es aprender a sentirla y a desarrollarla. Nuestros genitales son tres fuentes, en la mujer sería, el clítoris, la vagina y el ano y en el hombre sería, el ano, el periné y los testículos y el pene como una fuente única. A través de esas tres fuentes se genera energía sexual.

En muchos talleres que doy enseño a cómo percibir tu energía sexual, cómo desarrollarla y cómo utilizarla.

La técnica que has desarrollado trabaja directamente con el poder de la energía sexual. ¿En qué consiste esa técnica?

Sergio: La terapia lo que hace es trabajar a través de la energía sexual, bloqueos emocionales y bloqueos sexuales. Por ejemplo, hay personas que pueden sentirse con mucha ansiedad, con tristeza, agobiadas, enfadadas todo el día y no saben por qué y se supone que todo va bien y todas esas emociones están repercutiendo en tu vida sexual. Por ejemplo, por culpa de un estado emocional no logras disfrutar de tu vida sexual.

O al revés, tú estás disfrutando de tu vida sexual pero no sabes qué te ocurre ni por qué, y vas al psicólogo, al sexólogo, al ginecólogo, al médico y todo está perfecto, todo está bien pero hay algo ahí que no funciona. Entonces lo que hace la terapia es a través de la energía sexual, a través del contacto, del tacto de las manos, ir trabajando esa energía sexual e ir rompiendo los bloqueos, ver qué tipo de emoción está relacionada con ese bloqueo, lo que ocurre, y ayudarte a tomar consciencia de lo qué te pasa, de por qué te pasa.

¿Es una terapia en pareja o individual?

Sergio: La energía sexual es individual, es un trabajo individual de tomar consciencia de uno mismo. Pero como la pareja también tiene energía sexual, se puede trabajar, por ejemplo, en armonizar esas energías, como juntarlas para tener el mismo tipo de deseo.

¿Se trata de un masaje?

Sergio: Se trata de un masaje integral, de cuerpo y en los genitales, hay puntos reflejos en los genitales que se van tocando y se van descubriendo, hay puntos dolorosos, que van soltando emociones y bloqueos, se va tocando, se van mirando todos los puntos y el soltar esos bloqueos con la energía sexual va dando consciencia, la persona se va dando cuenta de lo que le ocurre, por qué le ocurre y vas dando respuestas a todo eso. Yo no te curo, yo te ayudo a que tú te sanes, a que tú tomes consciencia de lo que te ocurre. Te ayuda a eliminar los bloqueos, pero eres tú quien se va a dar las respuestas quien se va a dar cuenta de las cosas.

¿Qué crees de la terapia sexitiva?
¡Deja tus comentarios debajo!

Cualquier cosa, puedes escribirnos a info@desire.games y conectar con nosotros en:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Descarga Desire aquí

FIRESIDE CHAT CON SERGIO FOSELA

APRIL FOOL!

Desire is still Desire. Desire with Augmented Reality is our April Fool joke! Today is 1st of April and we want to celebrate it with you!

We thought that the Augmented Reality was something sexy, hot and interesting to put on the table, but pretty complex to bring it into reality for each of the dares.

So, we decided to give you 50 MAGIC COINS with the code: APRILFOOL

desire-augmented-reality.png

Only available if you have not use any promo code before.
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

APRIL FOOL!

Fireside chat with Gigi Engle

(Este post es en inglés)

Hello couples!

We are happy to start this new blog section, called Fireside Chats, with sexologists and sex-positive advocates to discuss about different topics around love, sex and relationships. How does it sound?

For this first Fireside Chat we talked with Gigi Engle, she is a sex and relationships writer, speaker and a feminist activist. She is also co-host of the podcast Dirty Sexy Monogamy!

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With Gigi we talked about:

Does living together affect couple’s sexual lives?
How can couples find the balance between routine and sensual moments?
Why do you think that couples end up living together?

Does living together affect couple’s sexual lives? Does seeing the person you love and you live with affect the erotic moments in the relationship?

Gigi: Yes. I wound’t say there are drawbacks to it, I think some people have the misconception that when you move in together, and you are spending all this time together and you see each other in your most disgusting morning breath and disgusting morning hair, that all of this is going to make you a-sexy to your partner, but I think this is kind of the old school advice. If you are really moving with someone that you really love, that’s not going to be an issue and that’s not going to affect to how much your partner want to have sex with you.

In my personal experience, I moved in with my partner in July and we have now more sex than we did before, just because we have unlimited access to each other all the time and we are always together, so we can just do it when ever we feel like it. It feels more natural. Before I was sleeping over his place 3 or 4 nights a week and we would feel almost obligated to sleep together, because is like ‘Oh we are not going to see each other tomorrow, so let’s have sex now’ and that kind of takes away part of the magic and the spontaneity. I would say that I have more sex and better sex now that I live with my partner. Also, I have a bunch of sex toys – I am a sex writer – and for a while I was kind of keeping some things in my apartment and some things in his apartment and now that we live together I have my full toys box and I have all my stuff here and all the lube here, so that’s better!

I think that when you are living together sex becomes more passionate, it becomes more emotional, it becomes more of a bonding experience on an emotional level.

How can couples find the balance between routine things and sensual moments in a daily/weekly base?

Relationships are a lot of work doesn’t matter how much you love the person you are living with. They are a constant reevaluation of your priorities of your needs, of your desires, of what you want out of the relationship, what you might not be getting, what needs to be work on, and I think that when it comes to sex that’s another thing that you also have to be keeping up with. You have to be constantly re-evaluating what you want to try, what you want to do, if something is not working for you, if you wanna be having sex more or you want to have less sex, and you have to think about the other person emotional needs too, because having sex and a satisfactory sexual live is a basic human right.

Every person has the right to feel sexually satisfied and if you are in a monogamist relationship with the person you live with, they have an obligation and you have an obligation to meet the other person needs and it doesn’t mean to have sex with the other person all the time if you necessarily don’t want to, but it means compromising so you have to constantly re-evaluate that and not because you are living together and in a routine you should have just having sex missionary seven minutes every other day, just because it’s easy. You have to make sure that the other person is regularly engaged with you in a erotic level so that you can continuously have that emotional roots together.

Why do you think that couples end up living together? It’s mainly desire or money?

I wish I could say that couples don’t move in together for primarily monetary reasons but that is just the reality, because when you live in a city like New York City or Los Angeles or honestly anywhere and you are in a serious relationship with somebody and you are both living with roommates and paying separate rent and when you know very well that if you live in the same apartment together you could share a larger space and paying less money… well it’s very tempting for couples to move in together.

The problem with this is that couples move in together before they are ready to and that can cause serious tension because when you move in together you share bills together, you share responsibilities, so it’s really important that even though you might be very tempted to live with your partner because you hate living with roommates. You should move your primary focus out of the money aspect and the convenience and move it to actually wanting to have a successful relationship with someone you see a future with, instead of moving in with each other too quickly.

Thank you for your time and for the chat Gigi.
It was wonderful talking to you!

What are your thought about living together?
Leave them below!

Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

Fireside chat with Gigi Engle