New memories together: completed dares

Hi couples!

We love to create memories with the person we love. All types of memories, romantic and wild memories. We also love to look back at those memories, smile and think…‘aha..we did that…’ or depending what was it, something more like ‘OMG we did that, crazy’. So that’s why we created the timeline of completed dares! You can also add a picture to them.

So now you can scroll down the main screen, smile and think…‘aha..we did that…’ or ‘OMG we did that, crazy’.

We also added new features, like the ‘new’ community dares badge, so now you can see the new dares that the authors you follow in the community have. You can also decide what type of notifications you want to receive.

All these features are available already on the Android version, however we are still working on the iOS version, we’ll keep you posted. We hope you like these features! Let us know your thoughts below.
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire and update to the latest version here

Advertisements
New memories together: completed dares

FIRESIDE CHAT WITH SHULA MELAMED

(Este artículo está escrito en inglés)

Hello couples,

Here it comes the fireside chat we had with Shula Melamed, Relationships and Wellness Coach, about creating possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy in long term relationships. We love what she says: Relationships are play!

Shula Melamed has dedicated the better part of the last decade studying human behavior, coaching individuals, couples and facilitating groups. Her approach is informed by theories of psychology, sociology and anthropology. You can find more about her work here.

fireside-chat-shula-melamed.jpg

With Shula we talked about:

How can we create possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy
in long term relationships?
What are the differences between new relationships and
long term relationships when it comes to creating possibilities?
Can we create the same situations that when we were in a new relationship?

How can we create possibilities for more pleasure and intimacy in long term relationships?

Shula: The first thing we have to do is to try to acknowledge these facts. Probably you have heard that ‘relationships are work’ but maybe we should also add that ‘relationships are play’. Some of the work you have to do is actually play. Of course, there is work you need to do around communication, around understanding each other’s goals, being sensitive to each other’s needs, but you also need to focus on playfulness and fun should be a priority. A lot of time people in long term relationships can take this for granted. We should ask ourselves ‘Am I having enough fun with my partner?’ ‘Am I doing everything I can to make the relationship exciting?’ ‘Am I being an interesting partner or am I sitting back?’ ‘Is there something I’d like to know about my partner, how about starting a conversation?’.

Some people do date nights – creating a special night to do something that just involves the two of them -, while some people is very reluctant to that idea, ‘why do I have to do that?’. Well, life is busy and our schedules get away from us, so we need to make time for fun as well. So first thing is acknowledging that it’s not going to happen by itself. Telling your partner that you love him/her in the middle of the day or bringing lunch to the office, are things that create great little experiences of appreciation and bonding to the relationship, it’s a small investment in your relationship and contributes to the overall health of your relationship.

What are the differences between new relationships and long term relationships when it comes to creating possibilities?

Shula: When you first start getting to know somebody in the begginning of the relationship, everything is new, there is so much to explore and discover, it’s your first time for a lot of things. The first time we go to a restaurant together, the first time we do my favourite activity together, the first time we share experiences for the first time, even with the small things. At the beginning of the relationship there is built in curiosity.

In long term relationships, you feel more comfortable emotionally, physically and psychologically, you have someone there to help support your goals and support your emotional growth. When you are in that situation, a certain amount of routine or predictability is comforting. Esther Perel talks about stability and the myth of spontaneity. When you are in a long term relationship you feel safe, it’s fun and it lets you do what you have to do, but to keep it passionate, to keep the relationship moving forward you need to know how to create new possibilities, spontaneity, new possibilities, new adventures, new experiences together.

When you are in a new relationship everything is new, everything is going to be exciting, but when you are in a long term relationship you don’t want everything to be exciting 24h a day because you need to get work done and life needs to progress however you need to find a way to build in novel and exciting activities together.

Can we create the same situations that when we were in a new relationship?

Shula: We don’t have to try to recreate the same situations that at the beginning of the relationship, it’s impossible, you can never go back, you can never be in the same position as you were at the beginning of the relationship, you know too much, you know a lot about the other. Also, you probably don’t like the same things that you used to like. But you can create the same feeling of having a new experience doing something different, and doing it walking side by side and knowing that you can be excited in the same way. But again the first thing, is to acknowledge that relationships take work and they also take play.

Thanks Shula!!

What are your thought about creating possibilities in long term relationships?
Leave them below!

Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

FIRESIDE CHAT WITH SHULA MELAMED