Fireside chat with Gigi Engle

(Este post es en inglés)

Hello couples!

We are happy to start this new blog section, called Fireside Chats, with sexologists and sex-positive advocates to discuss about different topics around love, sex and relationships. How does it sound?

For this first Fireside Chat we talked with Gigi Engle, she is a sex and relationships writer, speaker and a feminist activist. She is also co-host of the podcast Dirty Sexy Monogamy!

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With Gigi we talked about:

Does living together affect couple’s sexual lives?
How can couples find the balance between routine and sensual moments?
Why do you think that couples end up living together?

Does living together affect couple’s sexual lives? Does seeing the person you love and you live with affect the erotic moments in the relationship?

Gigi: Yes. I wound’t say there are drawbacks to it, I think some people have the misconception that when you move in together, and you are spending all this time together and you see each other in your most disgusting morning breath and disgusting morning hair, that all of this is going to make you a-sexy to your partner, but I think this is kind of the old school advice. If you are really moving with someone that you really love, that’s not going to be an issue and that’s not going to affect to how much your partner want to have sex with you.

In my personal experience, I moved in with my partner in July and we have now more sex than we did before, just because we have unlimited access to each other all the time and we are always together, so we can just do it when ever we feel like it. It feels more natural. Before I was sleeping over his place 3 or 4 nights a week and we would feel almost obligated to sleep together, because is like ‘Oh we are not going to see each other tomorrow, so let’s have sex now’ and that kind of takes away part of the magic and the spontaneity. I would say that I have more sex and better sex now that I live with my partner. Also, I have a bunch of sex toys – I am a sex writer – and for a while I was kind of keeping some things in my apartment and some things in his apartment and now that we live together I have my full toys box and I have all my stuff here and all the lube here, so that’s better!

I think that when you are living together sex becomes more passionate, it becomes more emotional, it becomes more of a bonding experience on an emotional level.

How can couples find the balance between routine things and sensual moments in a daily/weekly base?

Relationships are a lot of work doesn’t matter how much you love the person you are living with. They are a constant reevaluation of your priorities of your needs, of your desires, of what you want out of the relationship, what you might not be getting, what needs to be work on, and I think that when it comes to sex that’s another thing that you also have to be keeping up with. You have to be constantly re-evaluating what you want to try, what you want to do, if something is not working for you, if you wanna be having sex more or you want to have less sex, and you have to think about the other person emotional needs too, because having sex and a satisfactory sexual live is a basic human right.

Every person has the right to feel sexually satisfied and if you are in a monogamist relationship with the person you live with, they have an obligation and you have an obligation to meet the other person needs and it doesn’t mean to have sex with the other person all the time if you necessarily don’t want to, but it means compromising so you have to constantly re-evaluate that and not because you are living together and in a routine you should have just having sex missionary seven minutes every other day, just because it’s easy. You have to make sure that the other person is regularly engaged with you in a erotic level so that you can continuously have that emotional roots together.

Why do you think that couples end up living together? It’s mainly desire or money?

I wish I could say that couples don’t move in together for primarily monetary reasons but that is just the reality, because when you live in a city like New York City or Los Angeles or honestly anywhere and you are in a serious relationship with somebody and you are both living with roommates and paying separate rent and when you know very well that if you live in the same apartment together you could share a larger space and paying less money… well it’s very tempting for couples to move in together.

The problem with this is that couples move in together before they are ready to and that can cause serious tension because when you move in together you share bills together, you share responsibilities, so it’s really important that even though you might be very tempted to live with your partner because you hate living with roommates. You should move your primary focus out of the money aspect and the convenience and move it to actually wanting to have a successful relationship with someone you see a future with, instead of moving in with each other too quickly.

Thank you for your time and for the chat Gigi.
It was wonderful talking to you!

What are your thought about living together?
Leave them below!

Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

Fireside chat with Gigi Engle

Fireside Chat con Lis Hernández

(This post is written in Spanish)

Hola parejas,

Queremos empezar esta nueva sección del blog en el que hablamos con expertos en amor, parejas y sexualidad. ¿Te apetece?

En este primer Fireside Chat hablamos con Lis Hernández, sexóloga en Venezuela, que está detrás de Sexo es salud.

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Con Lis hablamos de:

¿Qué es estar enamorado?
¿Tiene fecha de caducidad el enamoramiento?
¿Podemos estar siempre enamorados?

¿Qué es estar enamorado? ¿Qué es el enamoramiento?

Lis: Hay muchas teorías y hay muchos autores que se han atrevido a darle una definición al enamoramiento como un proceso bioquímico donde se activan hormonas, como la dopamina, la seretonina que hacen un coctel químico en tu cerebro que activa necesidades de querer compartir con la otra persona, que activa el deseo sexual, la necesidad constante de estar al lado de la otra persona, de extrañarla cuando no está y que lleva a aceleración del corazón, sudoración, nerviosismo y la sensación de mariposas en el estomago.

Es un proceso biológico pero si nos vamos más a lo humano, a la comprensión, yo creo que cada ser humano tiene una forma diferente de enamorarse. Para mi el enamoramiento es una fase donde me atrae una persona y donde pongo en marcha todas mis herramientas de seducción para conquistarla, para seducirla, para enamorarla, le estoy diciendo a la otra persona: ‘elígeme a mi’. Aunque decimos que el amor es libre, realmente todos cuando nos enamoramos de una persona, lo que hacemos es agradarle a la persona, mostrarle nuestras virtudes, lo que le decimos es ‘elígeme, quiero estar contigo’. Para mi eso es el enamoramiento, esa fase en la que sacamos nuestras herramientas de seducción.

Hay quien dice que el enamoramiento tiene fecha de caducidad ¿Se puede estar enamorado siempre?

Lis: Biológicamente y científicamente, se ha comprobado que el enamoramiento tiene fecha de caducidad de 2 a 3 años, porque el cuerpo y la mente no pueden estar ocupados en esa fantasía, en las ilusiones del enamoramiento, deben bajar el nivel para así poder concertarnos en otras cosas. Entonces es cuando transformamos el enamoramiento en amor y varía.

Yo no creo que puedas estar enamorado toda la vida, en ese proceso de enamoramiento toda la vida. Yo creo que es dinámico, nos vamos enamorando y desenamorando, enamorando y desenamorando, porque por más que nosotros queramos estar enamorados todo el tiempo de una misma persona, va a influir como esta persona nos trate, como es el afecto del vínculo que tengas con esa persona. Si todo marcha bien y la otra persona cumple todas expectativas y nosotros las de la otra persona, y no se tiene ningún problema, pues se podría estar enamorado toda la vida. Pero como sabemos que es difícil porque las relaciones interpersonales son difíciles, pues nos enamoramos y nos desenamoramos.

¿Entonces ‘vivimos’ con la persona a la que amamos aunque no estemos enamorados?

Lis: Podemos vivir con alguien a quien decidimos amar, y con quien la fase de enamoramiento a quedado atrás. El amor es un sentimiento mucho más perdurable porque habla más allá de las pasiones y de las emociones que podemos sentir de forma biológica, existe una ternura, una complicidad diferente, una relación más madura, más consciente, una relación que tiene aún ese sentimiento: aún quiero estar contigo, aún me interesas.

Muchas gracias Lis por tu tiempo! Un placer hablar contigo sobre amor. ¿Qué crees tú que es estar enamorado? ¿Cómo lo definirías?

Cualquier cosa, puedes escribirnos a info@desire.games y conectar con nosotros en:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Descarga Desire aquí

Fireside Chat con Lis Hernández

5 Podcasts about love, relationships & sex

Hello couples!

Lately I have been listening to some podcasts about love, intimacy and sex and I thought that would be great to share them with you because they are worth listening when you are lying down on the sofa or on your way to work! I list them below:

Love is like a plant
In this podcast Ellen Huerta and Sarah May B talk about relationships, love and sex. I really liked the one below where they talked about how to keep the relationship fresh. I agree with them, when they say that having your own autonomy is a great way to keep desire, also having strong sense of yourself and identity and about creating space between you and your love one.

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A to Z of sex
Dr. Lori works with people who want to find their perfect relationships, improve their existing relationships, transform their lives to follow their heart’s desire. In this podcast she goes through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. It’s an interesting format!! I had the pleasure to meet and enjoy a cup of tea with Shula Melamed in NY City a few days ago, she is a relationship and wellness coach and here you can find her interview with Dr. Lori for Q is for Queer, where they speak about how the millennials seem to have more fluid ideas about gender, sexuality and relationship structure.

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Future of Sex
I had the pleasure to meet Bryony Cole last week in NY City as well, when she recorded the first live podcast of Future of Sex, which is the one below. She is lovely! And it’s great that she is getting together great women to talk about how the way we talk and we experience sex is changing. They talk about a variety of things from 50 Shades of Grey to intimacy connection, to porn. I really enjoyed it, and hope you do to!

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Dirty Sexy Monogamy (DSM)

Mike and Gigi are a real couple and they share their own experiences about their own relationship. By sharing that with everyone the idea is to help make your relationship with your partner stronger, healthier and a whole lot sexier. This podcast is an open communication and uncensored real-talk about everything relationship. I found very sweet the episode below, were they explain a fight they had and how thru communication they understood each other. Love it.

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I Do Podcast
Chase and Sarah interview successful and inspiring relationship experts, therapists and couples. The idea behind that is all about inspiring young couples to create a fulfilling and happy relationship. The one I leave you here is an interview with Amie M. Gordon, PhD, a social psychologist who researches romantic relationships.

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Hope you like these podcasts and you enjoy them!
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire app here

5 Podcasts about love, relationships & sex

Real Love Stories: Chile and Japan

Hello couples!

It’s been a while since I’ve been thinking about writing about real love stories. In our daily day at Desire we get sweet emails from couples all full of nice words, and I thought that would be interesting to share some of these stories with you. Always when the couple agrees with it!

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So, here it comes one of these stories. Last July I got the following message thru Desire Twitter from Fury:

We’re college students who found your app about three weeks ago. We’ve been dating for about a year and a half and really think we can make it. Thing is that even though we go to school together, he leaves to study in Chile for half a year starting tomorrow. I leave for Japan for a semester starting the end of August.

I just wanted to legitimately thank you for this app. It’s a tremendous, honest, terrific idea (even if the iPhone version might need to iron out some endearing tech details) that’s really going to help us in the coming months. Just – thank you from the bottom of my heart. If my dearest Benjamin and I come out of this whirlwind okay I’d like to write again – endorsing you somehow, donating somehow, I don’t know. I just want to repay you somehow for being a genuine company that wants to help foster love. Thank you for changing people’s lives.

This message really touched me. It made my day! It made me super happy. Love is the most amazing thing in life and this was pure love. I replied back saying how happy that message made me and appreciating their time to write us a thank you and amazing note.

Before New Year’s eve, I got a new message from Fury, this time she sent me a picture of herself and her boyfriend Benjamin together with a short message saying it all. ‘We made it! Thank you Marta!!’

I feel grateful for being part of a project that brings fun, happiness and connexion to couples. I felt so happy when I saw that picture of them together and couldn’t be happier to read that they made it after living for some time miles and miles away from each other.

Some days after that second message, I got back to her and asked her if she would be okey with me writing this blog post and if she and Benjamin would like to reply a couple of questions. They happily agreed and here is what I asked them and what they said:

1) In general we tend to think that long distance relationships are hard or difficult, but I am sure they are full of amazing things! Can you share some of the best things about your long distance relationship?

Fury: Knowing that he was experiencing his life and being happy. It was hard not seeing that for myself, but it was great knowing it was happening.

Benjamin: Knowing that Japan had been a dream of hers for so long and that it was finally happening made it worth it, that we couldn’t see each other for a while.

2) How would you describe the love you feel for your love one?

Fury: It’s really beautiful to be in love with your best friend. I’d describe it as warm, and full of laughter, and generally a wonderful pick-me-up. I don’t lose myself in the relationship. I’m still me, I just laugh a good deal more.

Benjamin: Being in love feels motivational in that it gives me a drive to want to live the most fulfilling life that I can. I know that I have a teammate that is there to pick me up and put me on my feet when I fall or cheer me on when I succeed. The highs feel higher while the lows can be more easily fixed. We really just work as partners like that.

Thanks guys for sharing this with us!
You are a lovely couple.

Hope you like that story as much as I do 🙂
Feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire here

Real Love Stories: Chile and Japan

42% discount on 18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs

Hello couples!

It’s almost New Year’s Eve. Yes! 2016 is almost history and we are happy to start this new year 2017 with great New Year’s Resolutions and with a great discount for a great and sexy product. Yes! We want to start the year playing. We like games so much and we like to have fun with our partner, so here it comes a 18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs from Unbound with a 42% off.

Keep reading, below you’ll find the 42% off discount code!

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18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs from Unbound

This is the second time that we partner with Unbound to bring you a great product at a good price. When thinking about writing this post, I thought that could be interesting to know more about the team behind Unbound, so I asked Polly Rodriguez, the Co-founder of Unbound why she decided to start the company:

‘We started Unbound because we wanted there to be a place where women and couples can shop from a curated selection online without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. For first time shoppers, finding what you want in this category is not easy. You either have to scroll through hundreds of products or go in-person to a store, which can be intimidating.

For me personally, I learned how difficult shopping in this category can be after going through menopause at age 21 from radiation therapy for cancer. I had never shopped for a vibrator or lubricant before and trying to find what I wanted to try left me overwhelmed and intimidated. I wanted to create a sophisticated shopping experience akin to a beauty brand, not a truck stop on the side of the highway.’

They did created a sophisticated shopping experience. I have already mentioned that before, I love their site. I do. It feels nice looking at their products, I love the way they categorise them!
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That’s Unbound beautiful online store!

The first time I talked with Polly, she asked me how did I find about them and why I contacted them. I told her that I was looking for brands that could be interesting for couples that play Desire and when I found their site, I felt in love with the way they present products. It makes me feel confortable.

2017 is a couple of day away, and instead of asking Polly about what she wants for Unbound this new year, I asked how does she see Unbound in about 5 years:

‘Unbound will be the dominate brand name name associated with sexual wellness. The company is working hard to become the place where women and couples can both access the information they need as well as shop for the products they need based on sexual interests and life stages. We also are vertically integrating quickly, with a new collection coming out in January of sexual accessories. In fact, the handcuffs we’re offering at a special discount for Desire users is one of our very first pieces!’

We are so excited that they decided to share with us this new collection of sexual accessories with a special discount for Desire couples for this gold stackable handcuffs that double as bangles!

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18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs packaged in Unbound cool drawsting screenprinted with ‘There is freedom in restraint’

We have partnered with Unbound to offer you a 42% discount of the 18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs. You can go to their site and use the promo code: UnboundDesire42

Here you have the numbers for the 18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs:

Regular price: $38.00
Desire’s couples: $22.00
Discount: 42% off
Discount promo code: UnboundDesire42

This product is brought to you by Unbound. If you have any question regarding their products, please contact their amazing team.

For anything related to Desire, please feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire here

42% discount on 18K Gold Bangle Handcuffs

Box Hechizo de Amor + 2 noches de hotel

Hola parejas,

Pronto llega la Navidad, por no decir que ya está aquí, y llegan también fin de año y ¡los Reyes! Un montón de magia en estado puro vaya. Como nos encanta la magia y todo lo que acompaña un buen momento erótico con la pareja – porque seamos realistas, esos momentos, tienen mucha magia… – os traemos esta súper Box Hechizo de Amor + 2 noches de hotel.

En Mi Sensual Box han creado, inspirados en los hechizos de Desire, esta box que incluye 5 productos + 2 noches de hotel para así exprimir, con la pareja, toda la magia de estas fechas y disfrutarla haciendo subir la temperatura.

ESTO SON LOS 5 JUGUETES QUE ENCONTRARÁS EN LA BOX HECHIZO DE AMOR, además de las dos noches de hotel:

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  • Esposas de Satén de Bijoux Indiscrets, para atar pies y manos
  • Corazón con 21 retos eróticos
  • Pintura sabor cereza con pluma. Para trazar líneas sobre su cuerpo y…
  • Máscara de seda de Bijoux Indiscrets
  • Una receta de cóctel afrodisíaco
  • UN BONO CON 2 NOCHES DE HOTEL PARA ESPAÑA, PORTUGAL Y ANDORRA

Las 2 noches de hotel nos parecen geniales para ir a probar la magia de todos los productos y jugar con todas las emociones que se pueden generar al cubrir los ojos de la pareja, al dejarse atar las muñecas o los tobillos, al pintarle a tu pareja su cuerpo para luego lamerlo todo, preparar un cóctel para calentar el ambiente y empezar a descubrir más retos…

Y como parte de esta magia, hemos acordado con Mi Sensual Box que que por ser pareja Desire tienes un 15% de descuento en la compra del Box Hechizo de Amor + 2 noches de hotel.

Precio: 39,95€
Precio para las parejas de Desire: 33,95€
Descuento: 15%
Código de descuento: DESIRELOVE

Este producto te lo ofrece Mi Sensual Box. Si tienes cualquier pregunta relacionada con el producto, por favor contacta directamente con su maravilloso equipo.

Para cualquier cosa relacionada con Desire, puedes escribirnos a info@desire.games y conectar con nosotros en:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Descarga Desire aquí

Box Hechizo de Amor + 2 noches de hotel

Remember those romantic, hot and spicy moments lived together

Hello couples,

We just released a new version of Desire for Android and it’s so cool!
Now, when you log into the app, you can scroll down and see all the memories you lived with your love. Isn’t it sweet and lovely to remember those romantic, hot and spicy moments lived together?

You can update to the latest version of Desire for Android, here or by going to Google Play and search for Desire. We’d love to know what you think about this new feature!

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Please, feel free to reach us at info@desire.games and connect with us on:

Twitter @desirefortwo
Facebook @desirefortwo
Instagram @desire.games

Marta P.
Get Desire here

Remember those romantic, hot and spicy moments lived together